Inside
Cincinnati Hopefuls Interview For Apprentice
Shit Spill Closes Road

Cincinnati Hopefuls Interview For Apprentice

"I have experience in bilking Cincinnati out of millions of dollars while covertly moving small portions of the company to India", said Johnson. " I would like to do the same for the Donald and Ms. Stewart. We just put a big sign on the front of a building, call it our home base - while 99% of our company functions in a third world country.  It's brilliant."

Like Johnson, another local Cincinnatian is parlaying their experiences in business and management into a shot at being the ‘Apprentice’.

Mayor Charlie Luken said he watches the show religiously and has been prepping himself for weeks for his shot at fame and fortune.

"As you know, I won’t be running for mayor, thus a small hole in my schedule will be opening soon", said Luken. "And since I have a giant crush on Donald Trumps money, well I thought I would give it a chance."

Shit Spill Closes Road

ROSS TWP - For most of Tuesday morning Ohio 129 at U.S. 27 was closed after a truck carrying 9,000 pounds of shit veered out of control and flipped over and spewed shit everywhere.

Ross Township Fire Captain Jim Fletcher said that he had never seen so much shit in his life.

"We immediately sent for an air freshener, but we miscalculated the immensity of the shit", said Fletcher. "That’s the most shit I have ever seen concentrated in one area."

Andrew Pohlman of Sidney, Ohio was driving the truck and was not injured, but paramedics on the scene confirmed that Pohlman, did in fact, shit his pants.