|
This is a column detailing the adventures of Blaine Chowder. All events are depicted as best as I can remember them. Non-Dealer employees names have been changed to protect them from ridicule.
DOWNTOWN - Dealer Reporter Gerard Oh and his faithful co-worker, Fred Pastry suffered from severe wussage Saturday night after partying at local club, Lava.
I, goodtime-artist Blaine Chowder, found myself dancing with several foreigners after my co-workers and friends, Patty, Thelma, and some douche bag named Carl vanished into thin air.
The cool part was that they continued to serve me up to 1:15 or so for "taking care of the bartenders." Someone told me something about how 1:15 isn't even last call, but I'm pretty sure it's because I "took care of the bartenders." And then I got free pizza. Awesome!
Dealer staff writer, Fred Pastry, spent most of the night in the corner listening to annoying Carl giving him the "Come to Jesus" speech.
"Seriously, my roomate is a douche bag", said Pastry. "That guy smells like a douche bag, looks like a douche bag and tastes like a...um, well I don't know about the taste part. But he is a douche bag."
Gerard Oh had no excuses for leaving early despite the not so subtle hints from his girlfriend that she was tired and wanted to go home.
"I think she wanted to go home" said Gerard. "She yawned too much for me to be able to tell."
Dealer writer Ed Osterman was not present at Saturday's events but said he would have like to come had it not been for his girlfriend who currently resides in Canada.
"She is really hot", said Osterman. "But she spends a lot of time modeling, so that's why nobody ever sees her. And she's a secret agent."
I was unsure if the woman that I was kissing at the end of the night, was in fact a woman.
She had heels and lipstick, that's all I know. Now get that camera out of my face.
To be continued...
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
|
Send your column and an optional photo to