CINCINNATI - Claims of bias are engulfing the Cincinnati Police Department after a falsified police report showed white police officers were not disciplined as harshly as black police officers.

Mayoral candidate and Police Chief Thomas Streicher Jr. says that this is an isolated incident and that the two police officers got what they deserved after lying on a police report.

Mayoral candidate Christopher Martin Luther King Smitherman says that Cincinnati is home to some of the whitest people on the planet and they just so happen to run the Cincinnati Police Department.

"There is some evil shit going on here", said Smitherman. "We, and I mean black Cincinnati, are going to put a stop to this bullshit. White mother-fuckers everywhere beware, cause if I get elected to may'a, it’s open season bitches."

Mayoral candidate and Vice Mayor Alicia "My Booty" Reece says that white police shouldn’t be investigating black police.

"We need to draw lines. Black over here, white over there," said Reece.  "Wayyyy over there."

The dispute arose from a Dec. 9 accident that occurred when mayoral candidate and police Lt. Christopher Ruehmer moved a vehicle assigned to mayoral candidate and Officer Lauren Smith from the middle of the street on Chalfonte Place in Avondale, while Smith was away talking to a suspect.

Ruehmer struck a parked car while backing up Smith's police vehicle, causing minor damage to the civilian's car. The two black officers investigating the incident misspelled names and failed to mention key streets in their report.

Mayoral candidate and councilwoman Laketa "I ain't your bitch" Cole says that the entire incident shows the amount of racism in this city.

"Vote for me and I promise I will paint this city black," said Cole. "White night is coming."

Streicher, who is in Hawaii attending an all white conference on the whiteness of white says that everyone should just calm down and not jump to conclusions.

"There is absolutely no racism in this city," said Streicher.

The Dealer cannot confirm or deny that Thomas Streicher is related to Julius Streicher (1885-1946), former German National Socialist (Nazi) leader.  Streicher (Julius) was a sadistic fucker who helped fuel anti-semtic mania in his periodical, Der Stumer. 

At the Nuremberg trials, he was convicted and hanged.