The neighborhood of Oakley was indicted Tuesday on thirty-seven counts of identity theft against Hyde Park.  The arraignment is to be held Thursday, March 10.

"I had heard that there were people living in me who didn't drive Volkswagens," said a stunned Hyde Park, "and when the police investigated, they found that Oakley was trying to steal my identity.  We've been neighbors since 1892.  I can't believe it."

Kent Finch, acting as legal representation for Oakley, gave a brief statement at the indictment.  "Oakley's actions were to show neighborly affection, not to trick homeowners and renters into believing they lived in Hyde Park.  We are confident the legal process will reveal there was no wrongdoing on Oakley's part."

Oakley could not be reached for comment.