The Cincinnati Dealer
The Straight Dope From A Straight Dope
Home
Top Stories
Business
Sports
Life
Opinion
Comics
Advice
Classifieds/Personals
Special Advertising Section

Staff
Search
Login

 


Green hosting by Dreamhost.com

 Subscribe in a reader

Subscribe by email
Free-range E. Coli Not Health Food, Say Officials
By Burt Safer | Dealer staff writer    Wed, Aug 13, 2008
 

coliCINCINNATI -Some of the biggest E. Coli recalls in history are happening this summer in the Tri-State area, with separate recalls of E. Coli sold at Kroger, Bigg's, and Whole Foods.

The recalls were prompted when customers became violently ill after consuming Prime Cuts of E. Coli and Ground Coli.

Some area consumers have switched to free range and open-pastured E. Coli in hopes that it will be healthier, but health officials from the Center for Disease Control say that is an incorrect assumption.

"Don't assume that a raw free-range bacterium is somehow healthier because it is allowed to run amok," said CDC microbiologist Daniel Petradash, "When these little buggers are not contained to a single cow turd or spinach leaf, they can pick up all kinds of diseases in their travels."

Petradash says he would like to remind E. Coli devotees that the little Coli do not feel pain if cooked to 160 degrees Fahrenheit, and are much less likely to go on a "free-range rampage in your stomach".

"If you do get the hankering for some sauteed E. Coli, whether free-range or not, just remember that E. Coli can still be tender and succulent even when properly cooked," he said.

|  
 
Quick Poll
After Ike's damage to Cincinnati, how are you taking precautions against future hurricanes?

 


What Grinds Your Gears?

Send your column and an optional photo to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . We love photos.



© 2004-2008 The Cincinnati Dealer. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: This site is a farce. So are its writers for that matter. All stories are fictional parody and should not in any way be construed as fact.