CINCINNATI -   With its poor showing in 2008, this week Cincinnati-based Fifth Third Bank tried to squash rumors of being bought out,  further raising speculations as to the potential buyer. 

Local blogger Dean of Cincinnati has tipped financial market watchers as to the identity of 5/3's new buyer. According to the Dean, one only needs to look at 5/3's logo through the lens of a kaleidoscope to reveal the logo of its new buyer: financial giant Wachovia. 

A quick phone call to Wachovia's new CEO Bob Steele confirmed the Dean's suspicions. 

"That's weird," said Steele, "I actually had a vision of 5/3's logo while staring at the Wachovia logo.  This was after finishing my third fifth of bourbon last night."  

"The two logos are obviously a match made in heaven," added Steele, "Plus they're name is even goofier than ours.. I think we'll buy them.

Other than the blue & green logos, goofy names, and poor 2008 showings, neither Wachovia CEO Bob Steele nor the Dean of Cincinnati could provide any further reason for the banks' compatibility.

Rather than change the name of Fifth Third to Wachovia, Steele says they will most likely combine the names of the two banks, in the Fifth Third tradition, giving the new bank the name of Fifth Third Wachoviath.  

Glimpses at the logos of PNC Bank, Provident Bank, and Key Bank through a kaleidoscope were inconclusive.