COLUMBUS - Columbus Attorney D. Michael Crites, the Republican candidate chosen to run in a special election to replace Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann, revealed his plan Friday to "comb over the AG office with a fine-toothed comb". 

"As Ohio Attorney General, I promise to add my own growth and maturity to the Attorney General's office," Crites told reporters, "And then carefully comb that growth over the bald spot of impropriety, left by Marc Dann."

"This is all speaking metaphorically, of course," added Crites.

Crites additionally promised voters a steady, unwavering comb over of the Attorney General office, "much like the combing over that Senator John McCain and Congressman Steve Chabot have brought to Congress."

Crites declined to comment on allegations that he is being investigated by the hair police for crimes against eyesight.