CINCINNATI - This week, Cincinnati gained notoriety among other cities, as having the only drug-free city water supply in the country.  All other cities tested positive because their residents were flushing prescription medications down the toilet.

Cincinnati passed the pharmaceutical drug test with flying colors, and only tested positive for caffeine, which was apparently flushed down the toilet during a local police cappuccino sting.

Water Works spokesman Rick Reynolds took some credit for the test results on Monday, while denying that he had spiked the water supply with Goldenseal.

Reynolds credited the Water Works's "pharmaceutical recirculation" program which helps residents who are burned out on a prescription medication to "share" their drugs with others, rather than flushing perfectly good drugs down the toilet.

 "Nobody in Cincinnati has flushed a single pill down the toilet since we started this pill sharing program, or we would've failed this drug test" claimed Reynolds.

Several Cincinnati residents expressed befuddlement at the news of other cities testing positive for drugs.

"Who in their right mind would flush a perfectly good bottle of Oxycontin, Vicodin, Percocet, Codeine, Lortab,  Xanax, Ritalin or Valium down the toilet?" said local resident Randall Jesse, "Don't tell me that other cities are doing that."

As a reward for passing the city water drug test, hundreds of thousands of area residents will be allowed to keep their jobs.