One of those events was Mardi Gras at Covington Mainstrasse last Friday.

"Since I moved here, all I've been hearing about are these cool Mardi Gras stories from a few years back," explained Wakefield. "They said it wasn't at all like events in Cincinnati, where cops are right up your ass, killing your buzz. Mainstrasse had cheap beer, flashing girls, people pissing in the streets - man, it was so wild, they shut it down for a few years. Awesome."

"So [Matt] Krueger comes all the way down from Toledo for this thing, right? We get there, and they charge us 10 bucks a pop to put on this stupid wristband. Then they point to this big-ass circus tent. Well, maybe it won't be so bad once we get inside, I'm thinking. So we go inside the tent. It was a fucking joke."

Wakefield reported that Mardi Gras had differed considerably from the stories that he had heard.

"As soon as we walked in, I knew we made a huge mistake. There's this lame-ass 80's cover band [Rusty Griswolds] playing 'Freeze Frame.' by J. Geils Band. Wow, how Cajun. Plus, they're charging $4.50 for a dixie-cup of beer. And to top it off? The butt-ugliest women in all of Kentucky have somehow managed to find their way inside. Man, Krueger'll never let me live this down.

Wakefield claims that this is the last time he raises his or his guest's expectations prior to an event.

"I heard from everybody at work that Taste of Cincinnati was kinda lame, but it ended up being pretty cool. I think the key is to just not get too excited about these things, and you won't be disappointed."