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Police Really, Really Serious About Drunk Driving
Nobody Aware Of That One Bridge Next To Purple Bridge

Police Really, Really Serious About Drunk Driving

Police are really, really, like, really serious about drunken driving this time.  No, really.  In a news conference, various area law-enforcment agencies along with Ohio state troopers announced that for a few years, they weren't, you know, all that serious about drunk driving, and only handled them if they were bored, but that this year, they're totally all over the problem.

Nobody Aware Of That One Bridge Next To Purple Bridge

Mark Mann, 39, of Blue Ash sat in his Chevrolet Corsica just barely on the I-471bridge into Kentucky.  He was in the middle of a long line of cars exiting to Rt. 8 to hit the bars around Newport on the Levee.  When asked if he had considered taking the Taylor-Southgate bridge, he replied,

"The what bridge?  Oh, you mean that one next to the purple bridge?  I didn't think that was a real bridge.  I just thought it was for, like, trains or something."

Another driver behind him was asked the same question.  "Yeah, I know about that bridge," said Clem Haskins of Roselawn.  "But I don't like driving around downtown.  Ever.   I try to stay on the freeway from my doorstep to my destination.   Really efficient that way."