WASHINGTON - The shortest woman in Congress just bought one of the largest cars.  U.S. Rep. Jean Schmidt is the owner of a new 2007 Chevy Tahoe that runs on an 85/15 blend of ethanol and gasoline.

Reporters, initially dumbfounded by any statement that involved saving fuel and buying Tahoes, were later subdued when Schmidt more fully explained her position.

"See, I didn't buy this to save money or to save the environment.  I bought it to fight terrorism.  Cowards buy gas, marines and, uh, congresswomen do not.   I'm not concerned with saving money because, well frankly, have you seen my house?"

When asked about environmental benefits, she replied, "The environment?  Let's stick to real problems here people.  Honestly, I'd line our shores and borders with a wall of baby seals if it would keep those terrorists out."

Schmidt joins the ranks of semi-retarded motorists profiled by the Dealer in an earlier series.

"The terrorists won't know what hit em!" she yelled as she climbed up a step-ladder into her new car and drove off.