CINCINNATI - As the NFL offseason draws to a close, the Bengals achieved another victory: The Rozelle Award, given to the league's best public relations staff. The award came after a savage battle between the Bengals and the Steelers to get more newspaper ink.

"It was neck and neck," said Harold Timm, chairman of the Professional Football Writers of America (PFWA). "When Ben Roethlisberger planted his dumb, helmetless, motorcycle-riding face into a car, it turned into a great race. When first-round Steelers draft pick Santonio Holmes was arrested for domestic violence, we thought the Steelers locked it. But from nowhere came Frostee Rucker."

"The rookies stepped up, but this award belongs to Chris Henry," said Jack Brennan, Bengals PR director. "From wearing his own jersey while getting arrested for handgun charges to being warned by a judge to stay away from minors and alcohol, Chris has been the league PR MVP."

"Our goal was ink," said assistant director P.J. Combs. "We were proud to see the streets of this city run black with the oceans of blood we helped spill. I mean ink, not blood."

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis, keeping his stance of recent months, said nothing to the gathered fans about his tremendous, award-winning draft picks. Nothing at all.