The Cincinnati Dealer - Portman to Balance Budget

Portman to Balance Budget

By David Akadjian | Dealer staff writer

Tue, Apr 18, 2006

portman_taft_sm Cincinnati - Rob Portman received the call to the major leagues today as President Bush nominated him to his cabinet as Budget Director. Portman brings with him the following qualifications:

10. Trade attorney at Nealdown, Unzippem, and Blow

9. Has not "outed" a CIA agent

8. Helped pass Central America Free Trade agreement

6. Ferret face

5. Never sold ports to the Arabs despite his moniker

4. Law firm once worked for Haitian dictator "Baby Doc" Duvalier

3. Still supports Bush despite crazy war

2. Balanced Terrace Park budget by introducing 24x7 speed trap

1. Fiscally conservative southwest Ohio values

The Terrace Park native vowed that if elected budget director he would institute speed traps across America to balance the budget.

Quick Poll

A weighted voting system, Proportional Representation (PR), may be on the ballot. How do YOU feel?

	This poll is invalid since I can't rank my choices.
	Leslie Ghiz is my #1, but I can't decide who to rank #2, Pat Fischer or John Eby.
	I can understand why the NAACP supports PR, since Charlie Winburn would likely replace Laketa Cole on council in 2009.
	I prefer the current model of electing the same 9 people every two years.
	I'm torn about PR. I would love to rank Sam Malone in dead last on a PR ballot, but I don't know if I could stomach voting for him.
	Does this mean Justin Jeffre and Michael Earl Patton will stop running for Council after they discover they still can't win under PR? Then I'm all for it.
	This system will only encourage more crazy people to run for City Council... and so I support it.
	Call me old-fashioned, but I would prefer it if the candidates with the most votes win.

What Grinds Your Gears?
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