CINCINNATI - When President Bush came to Cincinnati on Monday to throw out the Reds Opening Day first pitch, he offered a few kernels of wisdom to Cincinnati's team, specifically on his "strategery in the expectations game".

"You get them to misunderestimate you," Bush told Reds players in his pre-game pep talk, "When I debated John Kerry in 2004, everyone's expectations was so low, nobody thought I'd win a debate.  All I had to do was complete a few sentences here and there.. heh-heh-heh."

Bush advised Reds players to make a laughingstock of themselves in early games, so that opponents would let down their guard in the big games later on.

"Don't worry about winning these piddly little games that don't matter," said Bush, "Go ahead and let the other team score 15-16 runs if you want.   Remember, it's the first impression that counts most.  Later on in the season, when all your opponents are overconfident, just wait for them to screw up and call your teammate's daughter a lesbian. That's when you go in for the kill."