CINCINNATI - Chalk up another one for the man as he has managed to parlay energy into a fat profit for Cinergy and partner, The Duke Energy Company. Last years $490 million dollar profit sent corporate CEO’s and their bitches into a euphoric tizzy when the final tally was posted.

James E. Rogers, chairman and CEO, said that he is ecstatic about increase in profits and expects even a bigger year next year. Company shares spiked from $2.18 to $2.46.

"I am sure that next year will be even more profitable. I plan on building a modest 73 million dollar, 27 million square foot mansion in Clifton. Of course, only after I use eminent domain to evict Clifton residents will I build my new home. I assure you that I will do everything by the book when I put those poor bastards out on the streets."

Clifton resident Brett Hoffman has worked at the Batavia Transmission plant in Clermont county for 7 years. (The plant is scheduled to be downsized after the Ford Motor Company announced 14 manufacturing plants would be closed in order to make a larger profit for their CEO's.)

"I am so very happy for Cinergy. They deserve it. Last month my gas and electric bill hovered in at about $327", said Hoffman. "I expect next month’s bill to bust the $400 mark. It has been a great month for the CEO's at Cinergy. They are rich beyond my wildest dreams."

Hoffman went on to say that despite losing his job with Ford, he understands and that if he were in their shoes, he would have done the same thing; spent millions on a national campaign to boost confidence in the Ford Motor Company. (Ford is running a series of commercials on all three major networks in order to strengthen consumer confidence in their products.)

"Listen, I totally understand", Hoffman continued. Why pay me $33 thousand a year when you could squeeze a commercial in between two CSI shows, in the heart of prime-time, for a measly 15 to 20 million? It doesn’t sound like a waste of money to me."

Hoffman went on to say that he was confident that he would still be able to pay his rising utility bills because he plans on having three jobs to replace the income that he once had with Ford.  He is currently applying for a job at Wal-Mart as a cashier, Skyline as a cashier and at the Golden Corral as a cashier.