HAMILTON CTY - Following a decision to sentence a man accused of racial slurs to attend a black church, Judge William Mallory Jr. offered another similar sentence.  Mallory sentenced Clarence Biggums, a first-time sex offender, to attend elementary school classes for six weeks.

"It seems readily apparent to me that you have a problem with children," said Mallory. "If you want to get out of jail, you're going to have to raise your child consciousness."

By the time Mallory realized the subtle flaw in his plan, Biggums had already exited the courtroom, kicking up his heels and giggling.