CINCINNATI - On January 11, 2006, the Enquirer published the weakest article in the paper's storied history: "Starbucks Plans Second Drive-thru Here." The article, which tells how Starbucks is opening yet another location, scored a record 9.87 on the Weakometer (wee-KOM-eh-ter).

These quotes from the article were flagged in the Weakometer's analysis:

"In the summer (of 2006), we are planning to open a drive-through in the West Chester area," said Keith Stewart, regional marketing manager.

Though Starbucks has offered breakfast sandwiches at some outlets throughout the nation, there are currently no plans to sell them at Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky stores, officials said.

The previous record holder was the spectacularly banal "Pancakes Nourish, Entertain Children," published in the Enquirer April 14, 2004.

Slipping from second to third place was "Anna Nicole Smith Comes to Kirstie Alley's Defense" (July 29, 2004).