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Bengals' Playoff Hopes Doomed By First-half Leg Injury To Kenyon Martin
All Cincinnati Athletes Fear For Their ACL's
NFL Fines Kinda Backwards

Bengals' Playoff Hopes Doomed By First-half Leg Injury To Kenyon Martin

Delerious football fans poured out of Paul Brown Stadium Sunday evening following a 31-17 Bengals loss to the Steelers.

"If only Kenyon hadn't broken his leg, we'd 've won the Super Bowl!!!" slurred Tim Higgins, of Bridgetown.  A chorus of agreement ran through the crowd.

"Only in Cincinnati," complained another fan, Steve Coney of California.  "Only in Cincinnati, the first playoff game in 15 years, and we can't even get a fair fight. Well, at least UC's doing well."

All Cincinnati Athletes Fear For Their ACL's

A day after Carson Palmer tore his anterior cruciate ligament, UC forward Armein Kirkland tore his ACL, going up for a shot against UConn, ending his season and college career.  This leaves UC with only eight scholarship players, and not enough players to even have a 5-on-5 practice.

6-10 Abdul Herrera would probably help. Except for the fact that, the NCAA is preventing him from playing just for finishing all his high school requirements.  On the other hand, the NCAA will allow Randolph Morris to play for UK even after he contacted an NBA agent.  That makes perfect sense.

"What was Herrera thinking anyway?" asked UC student Trey Grayson. "Trying to fulfill his high school eligibility when he should've been trying to hire an agent!  The NCAA! It's FAN-tastic!"

NFL Fines Kinda Backwards

Wearing the wrong shoes and socks will cost your $20,000 fine if you're in the NFL.  Spitting at another player? $17,000.  Taking out the opponent's starting quarterback in a playoff game by rolling into his leg? Why, nothing at all!!