OXFORD - Admitting there's a problem is the first step Miami.  Now, with help and medication, you can move on.

Appearing on "The U", a five-disc DVD set showcasing midwest colleges, Miami students tell all. Whether or not the videos are for comedy, recruiting, information, or none of the above is unclear. But the quotes are hilarious!

"If you're willing to spend, like, a lot of money on your jeans, this is probably the right place for you."

"Appearance is key here," with the goal being, "How rich can I look?"

"Hi, Daddy, thanks for paying for my alcohol."

"I can't stuff my face fast enough."

The Ohio State University is also featured on the disc: "If you hate sports, don't bother coming."

The University of Cincinnati, though missing on this CD, will be featured on the next edition. A preview clip was released on the current DVD: "I hate Nancy Zimpher," says one cap-wearing co-ed.