DOWNTOWN - Newly-elected Mayor Mark Mallory announced his choice for Vice-Mayor on Monday:  Principal Skinner. 

It comes as no surprise to most supporters that Mallory chose Skinner for the position. 

"I can't have any scandals during my tenure," Mallory explained at Monday's press conference.  "And the only way to insure that there are no scandals is to pick a man even more harmless than me.  That choice was quite clear."

Mallory, who lives with his parents and doesn't drink alcohol, found common ground with Skinner, who lives with his mother, doesn't drink alcohol, and doesn't eat sugar.

Seymour Skinner, Principal of Springfield Elementary, immediately accepted Mallory's offer, vowing "I promise to never put my own interests above the duty and responsibility that comes with the office of Vice Mayor.  The interests of Mother, however, are quite a different story." 

Skinner, upon hearing his mother yell "Seymour!  The cracks in the sidewalk are offending me!  Cover all of them up!" sheepishly walked off with his head lowered, muttering "Yes, Mother."