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Local Marathon Runner Takes A Stand Against Shortcuts |
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By Burt Safer | Dealer staff writer
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Wed, Nov 23, 2005
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 | These colors don't take
shortcuts.. they only run | |
WASHINGTON - In a hearing before Congress on Friday, local marathon runner Jean Schmidt spoke out against shortcuts, and shortcut-takers.
"Shortcuts are against the rules," said Schmidt, "Anyone who cuts and then runs to the finish line is a coward who needs to eat some Powerbars."
Unbeknownst to Schmidt, one of the Congressmen present had actually cut and run to the finish line of the 2005 New York marathon. After running the first eight miles, Congressman Murtha cut out of the race, and then jogged ahead to the finish line to watch his grandson finish.
"I never realized that the honorable Congressman who I just now called a coward, actually had a bad case of corns, along with an outbreak of hives," said Schmidt, sighing, "I suppose that's allowable."
While infamous cheaters like Subway Rosie may deserve to be rebuked, honest runners who simply can't force themselves to continue running a race will probably be spared Schmidt's competitive vitriol in the future. Schmidt may have forgotten that the very first marathon runner died at the finish line, and could've used a shortcut.
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