Travel westward on Glendale- Milford Road until it dead-ends into Springfield Pike, and you’ll notice the wondrous transition from Evendale's seedy, dilapidated industrial business district to Woodlawn's seedy, dilapidated fast-food district.  There you’ll find one of the few Tri-state Buffalo Wings and Rings, a Chinese restaurant called 1^st Wok, and a shop called Tobacco Discounters that curiously doesn't sell food at all.  Look a little more carefully, however, and you'll find a diamond in the rough:  A lovely little sandwich eatery called McDonalds.

THE AMBIENCE

The tall, magnificent golden arches greeted my date and me as we pulled into the ample parking lot of McDonalds last Saturday night.  We covered our ears as a tricked-out, lime-green Honda Civic deafeningly roared past.   Detecting a strong odor, I turned to see a large brown dumpster overflowing with the remnants of many meals past.   “Even the outside of this place is teeming with character,” I said to my date, smiling.

Upon opening the glass double-doors, we were immersed in mustard-yellow and ketchup-red décor.   From the swivel chairs and tables to the tiles and counter-tops, this warm, primary-color scheme let us know that we were in good hands. 

My date, at first overwhelmed and perhaps a bit intimidated by the unique atmosphere, turned on one heel and headed straight for the exit.   However, once she noticed a group of local boys who had congregated outside and were making lewd gestures in her direction, she sighed heavily and returned to my side.   "I’m not going to forget this,” she whispered lovingly into my ear.   I knew what she meant.   This was going to be a dinner to remember.

Some restaurants come to your table to take your order.   Others bring food to your table after you have placed an order up front.   McDonalds does neither.   You pay for and wait for your food at the front of the store, enabling you to watch each dish as it’s prepared.   After winding through a mouse-like maze of waist-high dividers, I was at last friendlily greeted by a cashier: "Welco McDonnels, take ya oda?"   Although I was a bit concerned about breaking my $10 limit, my curiosity got the best of me, and I asked what the special of the day was. The cashier looked at me blankly and pointed to several menus that hung above her.   I was pleased to discover not only that McDonalds offers beef, chicken and fish entrees, but that several vegetarian selections were also available, such as salads, ice cream sundaes, and cookies.  

I chose the Big Mac burger ($2.45) and Potato French Fries ($1.00), with a medium Coca-Cola ($1.19) to drink.   My date opted for a glass of ice water ($0.00) before I reminded her that I was the one driving, and this was the only place that we were stopping at that night.   She reluctantly settled on the Veggie Side Salad ($1.00) and a small Diet Dr. Pepper ($1.00).  Both of these items were listed on the “Dollar Menu,” a nice option for families on a budget.

I found the Big Mac to be chewy and delicious.   The white-colored “Special Sauce” was a perfect garnish for the thin, grease-fried slices of hamburger and processed cheese. Closer examination of this fine culinary dish revealed not two, but three enriched white-bread buns.   And at the center, a single green pickle slice and just-the-right-amount of chopped white onions perfectly complimented the generous dollops of uber-sweet ketchup and mustard.   Unfortunately, the Potato French Fries did not meet my high expectations.   They were black, stale, and flaky, though well-covered in salt.   I was able to choke them down with my trusty Coca Cola beverage (free refills).  

My date, after picking all the bacon bits out of her Veggie Side Salad, took a bite, found a pubic hair, fled the restaurant screaming, and was never heard from again.  

THE PRICE

The grand total came to $6.64, well within my $10 limit.   Needless to say, I will be back to McDonalds: a fresh new twist on cuisine, and affordable to boot.

----
Occasionally, Jorge Barnes searches the Tri-state for a restaurant that will feed two people on a budget of $10. If you know of a restaurant that would be a good candidate for 2 for $10, please contact the Cincinnati Dealer.