The Cincinnati Dealer - Bengal-dom Waits for Sky to Fall

Bengal-dom Waits for Sky to Fall

By Edmund Osterman | Dealer staff writer

Wed, Sep 28, 2005

CINCINNATI - After three solid wins to open the season, the Bengals are one of four unbeaten teams in the NFL. The national media has taken notice; ESPN placed the Bengals fourth in this week's NFL power rankings. With each win, the odds increase for a season-crippling event.

In response to the best team's start since 1990, worried Bengals fans have curled into the fetal position on couches everywhere. Current bets available at local sports books include:

Cincinnati-style DUI of highly public Bengals coach: 5-1
Chad "7/11" Johnson tears ACL during touchdown jig: 8-1
Rich Braham tears ACL during touchdown jig: 150-1
In fourth quarter of sixteenth consecutive Bengals win, Paul Brown Stadium is swallowed into the earth and flooded by the Ohio River as unicorns storm the field and trample the entire team, including the practice squad: 14-1

Quick Poll

After Ike's damage to Cincinnati, how are you taking precautions against future hurricanes?

	Purchasing a windbreaker
	Cutting down every tree within 150 feet of my house
	Practicing dialing Duke Energy's phone number in the dark
	Looking for Duke Energy technicians who are willing to accept bribes
	Reading "Fixing Broken Power Lines For Dummies"
	Making sure my Bengals season tickets next year will be far away from the "wind tunnel" section
	Moving to the Gulf Coast, where people are actually warned in advance about hurricanes

What Grinds Your Gears?
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