CINCINNATI – Jim Dunlap, the self-titled “dance commando,” was accused of acting unironically at the White Stripes concert Monday night at Music Hall.

Trevor Haynes recalled how Dunlap came out of nowhere and made the center aisle his own.

“We were trying to have a discussion about an ironic Metallica t-shirt we saw earlier in the night,” Haynes said. “Then this guy jumped into the aisle and started swaying back and forth like a drunken sailor in a hurricane.” At this point in the night, numerous witnesses recounted Dunlap screaming that he was the “dance commando.”

Eschewing the ironic dress favored by so many in the crowd, the dance commando argued that stealth on the dance floor meant a simple black shirt and jeans. The Malaysian single-threading easily withstood all of his fist-pumping action during “The Hardest Button to Button.”

“I think his girlfriend left him midway through the concert,” Haynes said. “He was really into it, but he danced like a quadriplegic boxer.”

Stubbornly, the dance commando refused to let insults or slower songs such as “We’re Going to Be Friends” unfloat his butterfly or unsting his bee.

When police arrived to cart Dunlap away, he was trying to rub up against a crowd of people who had gathered near the stage.

The White Stripes concert, with the exception of the “dance commando,” was touted by many in the audience not old enough to have ever seen Led Zeppelin as the best concert since Led Zeppelin.