Thanks to an act of God, Cincinnati has moved up by one ranking in Forbe’s “Best City for Singles” list.  Forbes regularly compiles pseudo factual lists ranking cities, people & businesses in an effort to drum up attention for itself and sales of it’s magazine.

In July’s edition, Cincinnati jumped from 39th place to 30th place after Forbes actually bothered to collect some data.  Many people suspected there was more than a half dozen bars & restaurants in town, but Forbes had trouble tracking down such facts.

Now that more than 80% of New Orleans (previously ranked 26th) has sunk underwater, Cincinnati should naturally expect to jump up to 29th place.

“This is great news,” says Mayor Charlie Luken.  “I told everybody that since Cincinnati was 20 years behind the times, all we had to do was wait out the other cities and they would crumble on their own.  One city down, 28 more to go!”

Charlie Winburn, candidate for mayor of Cincinnati, was excited by the news.  Reports are saying that there has been a 100% drop in violent crime and murders in the flooded areas of New Orleans.  “I think I have come up with a plan to eliminate crime in Over-the-Rhine,” said Charlie Winburn.  “Now all I have to do is wait until they least expect it.”  Despite the high homeless rate, there appears to be no panhandling in the streets of New Orleans.