Inside
31 On City Council Ballot
Bennie Green Reflects On Campaign
Dr. Ruth Donates To Pepper
Monkey Escapes From Circus

31 On City Council Ballot

An impressive 31 candidates raised enough signatures for the City Council election ballot. Since only the top nine make council, the 22 losers plan to form a football team to feel good about themselves.

Bennie Green Reflects On Campaign

Bennie Green answered questions about his council campaign yesterday. He didn't get very far. "What? I'm running for council? I thought those signatures were for getting the Beer Hall of Fame here?"

Dr. Ruth Donates to Pepper

Public records revealed a $500 donation from Ruth Westheimer to David Pepper's mayoral campaign. Pepper acknowledged his celebrity donor: "If elected mayor, I'll need to hit it like our current mayor. And to learn how to do that, who better than the sexpert herself who wrote the book on it?"

Monkey Escapes From Circus

In related Council news, a monkey escaped from a circus in Springdale earlier this week. The monkey, who goes by the name of Dillion, is expected to place his name on the City Council ballot by Friday.