A Blaine Chowder Commentary

(Chowder's ramblings do not necessarily reflect the overall beliefs of any of the Dealer staff, he was drunk when he wrote it) (And he is a Republican).

Former President and Supreme Court Justice, William Howard Taft, is currently being turned over (via a crane) in his grave thanks in part to the actions of Ohio’s latest moronic son, Gov. Bob Taft.

At least the tons of fun former President had some game. Gov. Bobby’s handicap could only be counted by Stephen Hawking and a really big calculator. And President Tons never got caught in a scandal where money, that hardworking Ohioans needed, was used to buy a fucking coin collection.

Taft says that he is not resigning. What would he be resigning from? Does he do anything other than play golf? I work hard, and I have had a chance to play golf six times in the past year. And that’s on a 50 hour work week.

I called around to every golf course in the Columbus and Cincinnati area, pretending to be interested in playing on the course.

I asked questions about the greens. I asked questions about the fees. And in every conversation I slyly and jokingly asked the question, "Does the Governor play there?"

I hit pay-dirt with one schmo who couldn’t answer quick enough.

"Oh Christ", exclaimed "Terry". "You would think that as much as he comes here, he would get better. But no, I could drive a car into some of the holes that he has created on this course."

Another representative form a golf course a little closer to home said that the Governor is a regular. He said that it’s a no wonder that the state is in chaos considering how much time he spends on the the golf course.

Apparently the fruit fell far from the tree. Bad golfer, bad leader.

In 1992, H. Lawrence Garrett resigned as Secretary of the Navy, because of the Tailhook scandal. He cited leadership failure. He took responsibility for his lack of leadership and did the right thing. A noble move on a nearly spotless political record that ended his promising political career. Tailhook, as bad as it was, was occurring before Garrett took office. He took it in the balls, because that is what leadership is, accountability.

Taft leadership allowed the purchase of 50 million dollars of rare coins with tax payer dollars and a spot in front of a judge pleading no contest to what could be perceived as bribes disguised as golf outings.

He is holding on by the last hair on his head to a political legacy that he feels is rightly his, because of a purchased bloodline.

Taft has never been modest about his ambitions to achieve what his father didn’t 3 times before him.  He wants to be rememebered - and for those who don't recognize the symptoms of narcissistic behavior, you are getting to see it first hand. 

To quit over a scandal, means its over.  He is holding on desperately to his dream.  His dream.  Not the American dream. 

This is the last act of a drowning rat.  And the conservative cock suckers of the GOP will do their best to save Taft from his own failures by spewing out their best aww schucks, he didn't know anything about it while Taft himself will continue to spin this negative in his last ditch effort to be remembered for his future failed run at the Presidency.

Taft doesn’t need a failed run at the Presidency for that - he will be remembered - for a 50 million dollar coin collection and $4000 worth of really bad golfing.

I will let you know when they officially get President William Howard Taft turned over in his grave, it could take weeks.