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2nd District Scandals: Didn't-Kill-Any-Iraqis-Gate & DanceRecitalGate |
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By Reginald Ottenheimer | Dealer staff writer
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Wed, Jul 27, 2005
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 2ND DISTRICT - Throughout history, the political scandal has
been the bane of a politician's existence. Watergate, IranContraGate, and
Blowjobgate all had devastating effects. Nowadays, political buffs are closely
watching Didn'tKillAnyIraqisGate, the insidious scandal currently unraveling 2nd
District candidate Paul Hackett's campaign.
Did Paul Hackett, contrary to popular belief, actually not kill any
Iraqis? "No insurgents, no children, no parents or even grandparents," says Schmidt
campaign advisor Eric Minameyer, "Hackett may claim he fought in Iraq, but
where are the dead bodies? I don't want to just hear Paul Hackett say that he
killed Iraqis. I want to see indisputable proof that he killed them."
Voters will want to closely watch Didn'tKillAnyIraqisGate to see if
Minameyer's allegation that Hackett didn't kill any Iraqis is actually true. Can
a man who hasn't killed any Iraqis be trusted to represent the Second
Congressional district?
 The Republican candidate is not without her own scandal. The Dealer has learned that Jean Schmidt may have funneled campaign funds into her daughter's dance academy. A cursory examination of campaign spending laws was inconclusive. Nevertheless, a June 11th dance recital at Loveland High School shows a certain Second Congressional District Candidate's sponsorship.
Watch this one closely. Will Dance-Recital-Gate hurt the Schmidt campaign, or can Schmidt tapdance her way past the gun-shy Hackett, straight into Congress? Stay tuned! |
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