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33 People Catch Fire During Recent Heat Wave
Area Man Didn't Know Kentucky Was Across The River
Cincinnati Libraries Begin Charging To Check Out

33 people catch fire during recent heat wave

The recent heat wave was so harsh that I counted 33 people that ignited into human torches. 

Norwood resident Mike Wheeldon said that he was walking down the street and felt his skin catch fire. 

"It was awesome at first.  But then it started to hurt and my skin fell off.  That kinda sucked", said Wheeldon.

Area Man Didn't Know Kentucky Was Across The River

Rick Gorman has lived in Cincinnati for 12 years.  He never knew that the land across the river was the state of Kentucky.

"I had no clue until you brought it up.  Are there people over there", asked Gorman.  "Is it on a map?  Does anything happen over there?"

I told him no, nothing ever happens over there.

Cincinnati Libraries Will Begin Charging To Check Out

Kim Fender, Cincinnati's Library lackey, has impanted into our brains that they will eventually charge patrons for movie checkouts.

The move comes from fiscal mis-management, and I cite specifically the "Chair debacle" from several years ago that saw the purchase of several executive chairs at $500 dollars-a-pop. 

Let me be the first to give Kim Fender my middle finger.