BATAVIA - If a flock of 2 dozen pink plastic flamingos ended up in your yard tomorrow morning, you might not know what to think.

But as every homeowner in Batavia knows, that's simply Emmanuel United Methodist Church's way of warning you to pay up.

Here's how it works:  The Church sends their youth group in after dark to place the flamingos on the front lawn of an unsuspecting resident.  The homeowner has 1 week to pay a one-time fee of $10 to have the birds removed.  To avoid future flamingo placements, the homeowner may pay a $10 per month "insurance policy."  This provides flamingo "protection" for 3 months.  The money is then laundered through a homeless shelter.

If the resident refuses to pay on time, they awake to find their house painted pink.  If they have not paid up in a month, they awake to find 24 flamingo heads in their bed.

But one thing the Emmanuel youth group didn't count on, was retaliation.  Last weekend, a group of citizens got together and said "Enough is enough."

This anonymous group of heroic vigilantes removed 13 of the 24 birds from the victim's lawn, without asking for any payment.  In doing so, the Church's methods of intimidation were cut off at the source, thus shutting down the entire operation. 

"It'll cost us all our proceeds to replace the flamingos," lamented 12-year old youth group mob boss Caleb "Vito" Smith.

"It's clear we're on someone else's turf," said Smith.  "We're moving the whole operation to Bethel.  Interview's over."  Smith then beat our reporter to death with his own microphone and sauntered off while whistling a hymn.