The battle between the two most-inept general managers in baseball escalated this week as Nationals (and former Reds) GM Jim Bowden was brought into custody on telemarketing fraud charges.

"I received and followed up on several voicemails from [Cardinals GM] Walt Jocketty and [Athletics GM] Billy Beane," Reds GM Dan O'Brien said. "They offered me solid AAA pitchers in exchange for [Sean] Casey and [Rich] Aurillia, which was, in retrospect, not at all realistic. It turns out Jim can do impressions."

"I suppose Jim was angry that I put him on my do-not-call list," O'Brien continued. "But his actions violated recent telemarketing statutes regarding misrepresentation."

A statement released through Bowden's lawyer read, "I regret my actions as highly as fans regret the insane, franchise-crippling contracts I regularly hand out to ballplayers in their late thirties."