DOWNTOWN - Encouraged by the effectiveness of automated traffic cameras in capturing speeders, Cincinnati City Council has proposed an idea to further the concept. The proposal seeks to strategically place automated Taser systems on street corners in the downtown area, including Over-The-Rhine.

Mayor Charlie Luken lauded the idea claiming that this will free up officers to attend to more serious crimes and act as a deterrent to would-be criminals.

"I know one thing. We'll finally be addressing the plague of teenage jaywalkers downtown. I for one am fed up”, said Luken. “The next 14-year-old that decides to jaywalk will have quite a surprise in store for him."

Automated digital cameras will monitor crime in a particular location. If the camera spots the perpetrator of a crime, an attached Taser will begin showering the intersection indiscriminately with Taser shots.

When asked about the accuracy of the automated Tasers, Luken answered that if a thief snatches a purse from an old lady, there's only a 60% chance that the victim of the crime will be hit instead.