CINCINNATI - Yesterday, Reds general manager Dan O'Brien invited the Reds coaching staff into the boardroom. After discussing who was most at fault with the Reds 27-43 last place record, O'Brien elected manager Dave Miley and pitching coach Don Gullett to stay behind. After consulting with assistants George and Caroline, O'Brien broke form with the show format, er, team policy and fired both Miley and Gullett.

Dan O'Brien said, "I'm very comfortable with the decision. The bottom line is if my employees can't coach a major league baseball team, how can I expect them to lead one of my sham real estate ventures?"

When sports writer Rob Keefer broke a confused press room silence by pointing out to O'Brien that he is in fact not really Donald Trump, O'Brien had him fired.