In a press release today, the Citizens for Christian Values (CCV), announced that December’s massive snowstorm was a punishment from God.  “Thou shalt not have repealed Article XII,” says Phil Urass, Director of CCV,  “and more divine retribution is coming.”

Mary Goodness of  Westwood is still sobbing over the loss of her husband and two sons.  Goodness told Ted, her husband,  not to vote for the repeal, but he said he felt sorry for their two gay sons.  Now all she has left to remember them by are three piles of salt left in the street after the snow.  “Compassion is no excuse when it comes to the wrath of God,” she cried, “it’s Sodom and Gomorrah all over again!”

Urass said, “there is no proof that repealing Article XII has helped the city retain people.”  Charlie Luken, Mayor of Cincinnati, said “I am aware that it is difficult to verify the size of the gay & lesbian population of the city.  They tend to be a somewhat secluded community and are hard to identify.”  When asked how the city replenished it’s 30,000 tons of road salt reserve so quickly, Charlie refused to comment.