The Cincinnati Dealer - Area Man Stunned To Learn His Girlfriend Is A Slut Through Column

Area Man Stunned To Learn His Girlfriend Is A Slut Through Column

By Blaine Chowder | Dealer staff writer

Wed, Jun 1, 2005

When Nathan Park picked up a Cincinnati Enquirer last Friday, he got more news than he anticipated. He learned that his girlfriend, whom he had dated for several months, was a slut.

Enquirer Columnist Maggie Downs broke the news in her Friday column that would send chills through the spine of every male in the city that believed they were in a loving, monogamous relationship.

She says that women, all women, are prostitutes.

"I had no idea", said Park. "But it's all starting to make sense. We were always going to dinner at fine restaurants and I always paid and I always drove. She was always hanging out with some guy named Steve and Chuck and Marty and Bill and Allan and Dave. I was starting to question who these guys were. Thanks Maggie, for being so honest. You saved me from giving away my grandfather's inheritance."

Park has since broken up with his slutty girlfriend and is currently seeking a blind woman with no legs to replace her.

"These attributes will detract her from the lure of sluttery", said Park. "With a blind and legless woman, I would feel safe knowing that she needed me to drive her somewhere or that she needed me to feed her, rather than getting mind cramps from a slut who is using reverse psychology on me."

You can contact Maggie Downs at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

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