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Those People Standing in Line at the Star Wars Premiere Were Pathetic Losers
By Jorge Barnes | Dealer staff writer    Wed, May 25, 2005
 
Oh my God. I was at Newport on the Levee last Wednesday, and I saw these people standing in line for the Star Wars Episode 3 premiere. Honestly, I've never seen so many pathetic people in my life.

You call yourself a Star Wars fan, but you don't even have the respect for the Jedi code to do a little research as to what an acceptable light saber color is? Let me a give a you hint. It ain't white.

What a fucking loser. Obviously he hasn't read any of the Star Wars books, which clearly explain that the force only reflects light in a monochromatic manner.

And that was just the begining of the many pathetic attempts I saw of losers trying to dress like Star Wars characters and in the process end up looking like complete idiots.

Take this one guy, for example, who dressed up like Chewbaccca, and then had a Yoda doll on his shoulders. Boy, the media loved to take pictures and interview him. Too bad a Wookie would never carry another life being on its shoulders, and a Jedi Master certainly wouldn't ask another creature to haul his ass around! Unless he was injured, but I can assure you, this Yoda showed absolutely no signs of damage.

Can you say "Loser?"

The icing on the cake was this waste of human flesh wearing an Ewok costume on Thursday. Problem? The guy was at least 5'10". Duh. Ewoks can't grow more than 32 inches due to a mitaclorian defiency, which also prevents any of them from learning the force.

Everybody knows that.

Finally, I just got sick of seeing all these pathetic losers walking around, making complete asses out of themselves with their costumes full of inaccuracies, and got out of line for the movie and went home. Damnit. Only got to see Revenge of the Sith three times that day. But even a Jedi Master such as myself has his limits.

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