The Cincinnati Dealer - Cole for OTR Drug Overlord!

Cole for OTR Drug Overlord!

By Fred Pastry | Dealer staff writer

Wed, May 18, 2005

For the past two elections, I have run on a consistent platform of complete non-offensive obscurity. It’s hard to dislike someone you don’t know. But this election, I feel it’s time to take a stand. Elect me to be your Over-The-Rhine Drug Overlord. I would show you my website, but being a drug overlord requires I keep things on the down-low. Vote for me and join my Cartel!

Platform:
* Drug Empowerment Zones for Over-The-Rhine
* 50% drop in street prices for crack & heroin
* Overall obscurity

Endorsed by:
* Travis Pinkerton, The Cincinnati Dealer Food Critic

Quick Poll

After Ike's damage to Cincinnati, how are you taking precautions against future hurricanes?

	Purchasing a windbreaker
	Cutting down every tree within 150 feet of my house
	Practicing dialing Duke Energy's phone number in the dark
	Looking for Duke Energy technicians who are willing to accept bribes
	Reading "Fixing Broken Power Lines For Dummies"
	Making sure my Bengals season tickets next year will be far away from the "wind tunnel" section
	Moving to the Gulf Coast, where people are actually warned in advance about hurricanes

What Grinds Your Gears?
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