The Cincinnati Dealer

Personals

Sad, lonely city SEEKING chic, vivacious companion for long term economic relationship. Must feel comfortable luring young, creative types into your uninhibited clutches. If you are willing to teach this old cigar-smoking, whiskey-drinking pile of empty buildings how to enjoy a chocotini and talk post-modern theater, please call ASAP. (Ikea, I'm saving a nice spot along the river for you...)

Bored, single, white male looking for rich widow to leave me her inheritance. The older the better. Call Blaine ASAP, 886-3734.

Quick Poll

After Ike's damage to Cincinnati, how are you taking precautions against future hurricanes?

	Purchasing a windbreaker
	Cutting down every tree within 150 feet of my house
	Practicing dialing Duke Energy's phone number in the dark
	Looking for Duke Energy technicians who are willing to accept bribes
	Reading "Fixing Broken Power Lines For Dummies"
	Making sure my Bengals season tickets next year will be far away from the "wind tunnel" section
	Moving to the Gulf Coast, where people are actually warned in advance about hurricanes

What Grinds Your Gears?
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