The Cincinnati Dealer

Classifieds

FOR SALE - One midget. 37 years of age. Has had all his shots, goes by the name of Charles Nelson Riley. Smells like hot dogs. $12 or best offer. Call Blaine 513-886-3734

LOST - Sinkerball along with any closing ability whatsoever. Last seen some time around 2000, near the river. Contact Danny @ 513-765-7000.

LOST - One OxyContin somewhere around 4^th and Vine Streets yesterday. Was saving it for a special occasion. $6.50 reward. Contact Milt Crappus at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

Quick Poll

After Ike's damage to Cincinnati, how are you taking precautions against future hurricanes?

	Purchasing a windbreaker
	Cutting down every tree within 150 feet of my house
	Practicing dialing Duke Energy's phone number in the dark
	Looking for Duke Energy technicians who are willing to accept bribes
	Reading "Fixing Broken Power Lines For Dummies"
	Making sure my Bengals season tickets next year will be far away from the "wind tunnel" section
	Moving to the Gulf Coast, where people are actually warned in advance about hurricanes

What Grinds Your Gears?
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