AVONDALE - Cincinnati Herald editor and publisher Eric H. Kearney, in an attempt to boost readership of the primarily African-American newspaper among the WWF and Nascar crowd, has announced his entrance into The Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Said Kearney: "I think the Herald is under-represented in the Nascar demographic. Studies have shown that Nascar fans are likely to be UFC fans as well. So I decided to enter myself. I've only had a week of training, but sensei has already taught me my signature move 'The SkullRipper'."

In the below left picture, Kearney demonstrates The SkullRipper move, whereby he crushes a human skull in his hands and simultaneously rips out the person's aorta with his teeth while laughing maniacly.

VS.

Eric "The Bowtie" Kearney's debut fight will be vs. Butch "Butch" Shady (above right) next Saturday at 7 pm at U.S. Bank arena.