The Cincinnati Dealer - Classifieds/Personals

Classifieds/Personals

Personals

SWM ISO SF - I have latex gloves. Contact This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

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Classifieds Discarded - Large collection of disturbing black & white fetish pornography & pedophilia pictures in my downtown loft. I had nothing to do with them & I only looked at them twice. I think they belonged to a gay-bob. On Display - Thought to be lost, but recently discovered collection of priceless Robert Mapplethorpe photographs. Now showing at the Cincinnati Art Museum.
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Classifieds

For Sale - Cozy 2 story house at 15 Laycock Lane in Newport Kentucky. Minor stains on walls & carpets. Scene of mass family murder. Must see to believe!!! Contact realtor Shelly Barnes with West Shell for more details.

Wanted - City maintenance supervisor. Temp to permanent. Salary: $40,000/year. Duties include: waking up late, staying at home, reading a book occasionally - but only if you want to! If interested, call City Hall at 513-352-GOOF.

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Classifieds

For Sale - Baby Jesus Made of high quality rubber. Missing one leg. Handicap Baby Jesus is perfect for your gimpy son or daughter. Contact Brad Hurdan at 555-3827.

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Personals

Soon-to-be-renovated square and luscious lady fountain ISO hip city with whom to spend a lifetime. Must lust after young professionals and be willing to lure them outdoors to drink during the hot summer months. If you are not afraid of a sizzling nightlife and can stay up past 10 pm, please contact Lady G via passenger pigeon.

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Classifieds

Lost - Case of Magic Shell, storage bin freezer & a prostitute. The last time I saw them, the prostitute was in the freezer & the case of Magic Shell was right next to them. I stepped out of the shower and *poof* they were gone. If found please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . Cash reward if found! Sorry no checks.

Lost - Looking for any information on lost dog. Ran off 40 years ago after directing the movie Sex Kittens Go to College. Answers to the name Sparko. Medium size metal breed. Gunmetal grey. Please send any information on whereabouts to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . Elektro really misses him.

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Classifieds For Sale – Covington Kid. Great deal! Estimated value of MORE THAN $14!!!!! Great for testing shockabsorbers & struts. Shoes not included. Seller not responsible for leaks. Willing to trade for muddy stick OBO. Contact Mike Fitzgerald at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .
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Personals

DWM ISO Epileptic Woman - for wild nights of passion. I'll bring the strobe light, you bring the fun. No oral please. I had a bad experience with that recently. Intrigued? Contact This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

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Personals

ISO SWF - Champ here, do you like long walks on the beach and majestic sunsets, the smell of fresh air, and view of clear skies? Then move asshole. I want a woman who’s not afraid of wrestling, farts, farting while wrestling, and possibly sharting (most likely while wrestling). I just want someone to share life’s simple pleasures like ordering pizza, watching a movie, grainy internet porn, bondage, watching a movie with some grainy internet bondage porn after ordering a pizza, sexual role reversal and maybe some anal sex. Hmm. You know, normal stuff. If you’re a normal lady give Champ a call at 859-743-1719 or email me at \n This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it href="mailto: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it "> This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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Obituary in the year 2015

CINCINNATI - Former Mayoral candidate Mark Mallory passed away this week after a coronary said to have been brought on by vigorous sex with a male intern. Mallory lost decisively to David Pepper in the 2005 mayoral election.

The former news anchor, state senator and pederast had pretty much disappeared from Cincinnati after numerous allegations surfaced before the 2005 mayoral election that he was a member of NAMBLA.

NAMBLA couldn't not be reached for comment.

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Quick Poll

After Ike's damage to Cincinnati, how are you taking precautions against future hurricanes?

	Purchasing a windbreaker
	Cutting down every tree within 150 feet of my house
	Practicing dialing Duke Energy's phone number in the dark
	Looking for Duke Energy technicians who are willing to accept bribes
	Reading "Fixing Broken Power Lines For Dummies"
	Making sure my Bengals season tickets next year will be far away from the "wind tunnel" section
	Moving to the Gulf Coast, where people are actually warned in advance about hurricanes

What Grinds Your Gears?
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