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What Would Jesus Do?
What Would Jesus Do?
By Jesus | Dealer staff writer    Wed, Dec 21, 2005
 

Dear Jesus,

How should I celebrate your birthday this Christmas?

- Michael

Michael,

Why not celebrate Christmas by wrapping “Just say Merry Christmas” bands around pipe bombs & place them at a nearby mosque?  God would have wanted it that way.  What better way to show Peace on Earth and goodwill to man?

- Jesus

Jesus has been an advice columunist for the Cincinnati Dealer since Feburary 2006.  If you need advice on anything from fish frys to foot fungus e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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What Would Jesus Do?
By Jesus | Dealer staff writer    Wed, Feb 9, 2005
 

Dear Jesus,

My girlfriend Cassandra keeps asking me whether I think she's "fat". First off, I think she's beautiful. Honestly, she's not fat, but she could stand to lose a few pounds. Since I know better than to actually say that, I simply clam up.  This always results in her getting really mad at me.

Also, she keeps talking about you - "Jesus this.." and "Jesus that..."

How can I get her to lose some weight and forget about other guys like you, all while staying madly in love with me?

- Giovanni

Read more... | |  
 
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