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What Would Jesus Do?
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By Jesus | Dealer staff writer
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Wed, Dec 21, 2005
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Dear Jesus,
How should I celebrate your birthday this Christmas?
- Michael
Michael,
Why not celebrate Christmas by wrapping “Just say Merry Christmas” bands around pipe bombs & place them at a nearby mosque? God would have wanted it that way. What better way to show Peace on Earth and goodwill to man?
- Jesus
Jesus has been an advice columunist for the Cincinnati Dealer since Feburary 2006. If you need advice on anything from fish frys to foot fungus e-mail
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By Jesus | Dealer staff writer
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Wed, Feb 9, 2005
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Dear Jesus,
My girlfriend Cassandra keeps asking me whether I think she's "fat". First off, I think she's beautiful. Honestly, she's not fat, but she could stand to lose a few pounds. Since I know better than to actually say that, I simply clam up. This always results in her getting really mad at me.
Also, she keeps talking about you - "Jesus this.." and "Jesus that..."
How can I get her to lose some weight and forget about other guys like you, all while staying madly in love with me?
- Giovanni |
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