Congratulations go out to 9 year old Tom Wensel of Beechwood Elementary School for earning the 2006 Cincinnati Dealer Best Halloween Costume Award!

SPENCER - TARBELL

Nicholas Eugene Spencer - James Ray Tarbell

Mr. and Mrs. Mathew S. Spencer of Madison, Ohio are happy to announce the engagement of their son, Nicholas Spencer, to James R. Tarbell, son of Mr. and Mrs. David Tarbell of Cincinnati, Ohio. Nicholas is a owner of the bar Alchemize and candidate for city council.  James graduated from Withrow High School, studied PreMed at the Lowell Institute.  He owns Grammar’s restaurant and is a Councilman for the city of Cincinnati.  The engagement took place on October 28th in a cozy little nook at the Blind Lemon.  A November 2005 wedding is planned at City Hall, Cincinnati, Ohio. The couple will reside in Over-The-Rhine, Ohio.*

*The Cincinnati Dealer would like to appologize for this incident.  After a night of drinks Harold yelled out "Well if you like Tarbell sooo much why don't you marry him."  As usual, Spencer takes us way too seriously.

NEWPORT - Barnyard Burlesque returned to the Southgate House Saturday for a special Halloween show that focused on the epic moral battle that rages within all of us.

"Our costumes are based on themes of Good versus Evil," said BB founder and costume-maker Stacey Vest.

Keeping with the theme, BB dancers donned angel and devil costumes to square off in a metaphysical catfight. Devils tore at wings and angels grabbed at pitchforks until ultimately little remained of their differences.

According to a recent Enquirer article, an increasing number of local high school seniors plan to take a year's break after graduation, also known as a "gap year."

But while the Enquirer's report consisted of interviewing 3 ambitious students, each planning to spend their gap year either enriching their cultural background or providing community service, most Tri-State students have very different plans for gap year.

The House of Crack, the area's first haunted crack house, returns for its fourth season this week. Billed as a "fright or flight" experience for children between the ages of 5-12, HOC weaves realistic crack themes into each of the seven rooms within a decrepit inner-city setting.

Entering HOC, you are greeted by a muscular dealer holding a semi-automatic weapon. He motions you cheerfully upstairs. The crisp, chemical smell of free-basing fills the air. Crack 'hos wander throughout the house like zombies. Walking up the stairs to your left, a once-normal man grabs at your ankles and offers to suck your dick for $5. You could be anywhere in Cracktown, USA.

The Canadian invasion descended on Newport Friday night when The New Pornographers and fellow Canadian bands Immaculate Machine and Destroyer played to a sold-out Southgate House crowd.

Neko Case and Kathy Calder (center) surrounded by fans at the Southgate House

"Canadian music has suffered through a lot," said Pornographers' founder Carl Newman. "Bryan Adams, Richard Marx, Shania Twain, William Shatner."

When someone mentioned that William Shatner is not a band, Newman replied, "That hasn't lessened the suffering."

The litany of Canadian assrock continued. 

EDGEWOOD – The Edgewood City Council would regret enacting proposed noise-reduction and safety standards for all-terrain vehicles (ATVs), according to Village Drive resident and ATV owner Don Dowd. In a September 20 Enquirer article, Dowd claims:

...A stronger nuisance ordinance could have the unintended consequence of creating more disputes than it solves. "If someone already had a problem with their neighbor, this could help them find a way to nitpick that person," he said.

Indeed, logic and science tell us that providing ATV nuisance guidelines, which clearly spell out what behavior is acceptable and what is considered a "nuisance," cannot solve disputes. Wait, that's exactly wrong.

"It's been a good twenty-year run for the old jingle, but it's time for a fresh new sound," explained Tom Allen, Skyline Chili marketing vice president.  "With the 'My Girl' melody, the consumer is left in hungry suspense upon hearing 'What can make me feel this way?' and then finally makes the delicious connection when the chorus answers 'Skyline, Skyline, Skyline.  Talkin 'bout Skyline.'"