CINCINNATI -  On Monday, the President of the local chapter of the NAACP, Christopher Smitherman, proposed that the local chapter break off from the national NAACP, in order to exclusively focus on issues that aren't even remotely associated with the national NAACP's historic work.   Smitherman aims to instead focus on the evils of passenger rail transit.

The new name, The New Association for the Advancement of COAST's Politics, references the pro-suburban organization "COAST" which is concerned with promoting cars (especially the type of cars that coast).

Smitherman had essentially already married the local chapter to COAST's pro-car and anti-train politics, so the NAACP acronym's new meaning seemed a natural fit. 

 "We didn't want to change much about the NAACP," said Smitherman,  "We already had the logo and the group.. plus, I am President, so why change anything there?" 

"It's just that the national NAACP didn't seem to really understand how all passenger rail will destroy black people in Cincinnati, so we just had to break off from them."

Smitherman still contends that passenger rail somehow threatens the livelihood of black people.

"Everyone knows that as a slave, John Henry died building a streetcar line," said Smitherman, "If only there had been an anti-passenger rail initiative in John Henry's time."

 "If we do accept federal money for the streetcar or any other choo-choo train projects, it's just Cincinnati's first step towards enslaving black people again."

On Monday, an anonymous member of COAST also voiced his concern to the The Dealer that federal stimulus rail projects such as the streetcar, might help revitalize the city's core.

 "If the Cincinnati city core continues down this dangerous 'revitalization' path," he said,  "Possibly even less people will want to move to the suburbs, and our property values in Indian Hill, Mason, Sharonville, and West Chester will all plummet."