The Cincinnati Dealer

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Larry Flynt to open his own "Bodies" exhibit

Cincinnati to Install Public Urination Cameras

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Articles for March, 2006

New Law Targets Drug Dealers Who Sell Marijuana in Plain Sight

By Burt Safer | Dealer staff writer

Fri, Mar 31, 2006

This Findlay Market vendor may soon be forced
to conceal his herbal products

CINCINNATI - A new law proposed by City Councilman Cecil Thomas may change the way pot is sold in Cincinnati. Soon every salesman bold enough to openly display his marijuana products out on tables in neighborhoods like Over-The-Rhine will go to jail, instead of just receiving a ticket.

However, the new law doesn't overturn a citizen's right against searches without a warrant. Many of the more sophisticated pot dealers use a technique of hiding their products inside their pockets, especially when police are in their presence.

Without probable cause, police will still not be able to determine who these more surreptitious dealers are. Since most dealers do not openly smoke or sell their product in plain sight, Cincinnati's jail will soon be overflowing, not with pot dealers, but the more nefarious casual pot users and cancer patients.

"Before this new law, our police had to buy a little weed from a dealer in order to charge him with selling marijuana," said Thomas on Thursday, "Now, when police buy marijuana from a dealer, they can then get a warrant, search him, and arrest him for possession. See, it all completely makes sense."

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CSO Scout Out New Locations

By Gerard Oh | Dealer staff writer

Mon, Mar 27, 2006

OVER-THE-RHINE - Facing falling attendance, renovation issues, and perceptions of poor public safety surrounding Music Hall, the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra is considering a move from the 128-year-old historic building.

CSO conductor Paavo Järvi reported, "We are keeping all our options open at this time. We're scouting out several locations in the suburbs. Nothing says classical music like a shiny new office park. We could buy one, knock down the cubicle walls and go from there."

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Two Men Caught In Internet Sex Stings, Water Is Wet

By Gerard Oh | Dealer staff writer

Mon, Mar 27, 2006

SYCAMORE TWP - 56 year-old Jean Smolders of Sycamore Township barely made news Sunday when he was arrested attempting to meet a 14 year-old girl for sex. Not to be outdone by Jean, 26 year-old James Rutherford, a 6th-grade religion teacher, became his own cliché Monday when he too attempted to meet an underage minor for sex.

You would think these people would just stop trying.

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Teenager's blood ruins perfect lawn

By Burt Safer \| Dealer staff writer	Thu, Mar 23, 2006
BATAVIA - Retired auto worker Charles Martin is known throughout the neighborhood for maintaining a perfect lawn. He recently attained national fame for his beautiful lawn, a landmark in Batavia for its bright green color even during the winter. Unfortunately, on Sunday a neighbor teenager ruined everything by trampling Martin's beautiful green lawn and - when Martin shot him to death - leaving blood stains all over the grass. "I don't see what all the fuss is about," Martin told police, "We both broke a commandment. He broke the eighth commandment, 'Thou shall not trespass on thy neighbor's lawn', and I broke the one about not killing a kid." Martin called 911 to report the vandalism, but only after attempting to wash the blood stains off his lawn with a mixture of cold water and baking soda. Martin is already growing his own personal wheatgrass tray to perfection, in his new home at Clermont County Jail.
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Freedom Center To Be Converted Into Condos

By Gerard Oh \| Dealer staff writer	Mon, Mar 20, 2006
RIVERFRONT - Facing an estimated $2 million annual budget shortfall, the National Underground Railroad Museum and Freedom Center is looking at other avenues of fund raising. Luckily enough, the wide expanse of dirt between the two stadiums that can't seem to get started provides just such an opportunity. Mayor Mallory held a press conference in the big hole below street level between the Freedom Center and GABP, known as "Dirt East". "The Freedom Center needs to raise funds. The Banks project continues to languish and delay the constructions of, among other things, new residential units. Here, we have a perfect solution of killing two birds with one stone." County Commission President Phil Heimlich was present and commented that he "had an eye on the condo with the big flame out on the balcony."
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Sidelines

Kroger Shopper Gets Dry Idea

Man Attacked by Foul Balls, Returns Fire

Local Foot Fetishist Likes Them Shiny

Cigarette Prices Rising - Two Cigarettes Cost County $42,000

Bengals Trade Chad Johnson for Ken Griffey Jr

U.S. Playing Card Wants Its Own Enquirer Blogger Too

2500 Rally in Support of Payday

Quick Poll

The CCV wants to end the Adult ads in the back of CityBeat. How do YOU feel?

	I am outraged. I responded to one of those ads, and didn't even get a handjob.
	I really don't care about those ads, but can you give me more information about the "Safe Sex Get Paid" ads?
	I think we should ban those ads, as soon as we finish banning porn from the internet.
	The Adult section is too important for the back pages. They should move it to the front, like in the Yellow Pages.
	I think children ought to be protected from words like "body rub" and "tantric massage".
	Does anyone else know if "accupressure" is as sexy as it sounds?
	Sorry, not for me. The best whores don't place ads in a newspaper.

What Grinds Your Gears?
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