"I'm outraged!" exclaimed Leigh Cavanaugh, an Urban Studies major at the University of Cincinnati (UC). Leigh assembled with other students from UC's Design, Architecture, Art, and Planning (DAAP) college, while holding a sign that read "HAROLD GO HOME!"

"The Cincinnati Harold has confused readers of The Cincinnati Herald by creating a parody news site that is spelled only slightly differently than an actual news site."

DOWNTOWN - Eric H. Kearney, attorney in The Cincinnati Herald's action against The Cincinnati Harold, is working on a new high-profile lawsuit with interesting parallels to the Harold case (that case climaxed in an intense spitball fight with the Harold legal team at Forest Fair Mall).

Downtowner is downtown's classic neighborhood magazine, and like Independent Eye,  Downtowner has launched its web presence - with a brand new This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it in their last issue (the issue with a big can of 'SPAM' on the cover).  But they're not stopping at an email address. They want downtowner.com..

AVONDALE - Cincinnati Herald editor and publisher Eric H. Kearney, in an attempt to boost readership of the primarily African-American newspaper among the WWF and Nascar crowd, has announced his entrance into The Ultimate Fighting Championship.

CINCINNATI - In 1993, local attorney, publisher, and businessman Eric H. Kearney ran for City Council as a young 25 year old Charterite. He's never run since then.

During the annual Charter Committee meeting, Kearney sought to give advice to another young twentysomething Charterite looking to land a seat on City Council: OTR business owner and activist Nick Spencer.

"I say to Mr. Spencer, quit now, before these so-called bloggers destroy you. You think it will stop at weird guys with big hair annoying you in your business? Not a chance.

BUTLER COUNTY - Some representatives of Butler County are eager to use cutting-edge technology in law enforcement.  "People have these GPS chips put in their pets and, in some cases, in their children, in the event they are lost or kidnapped," Butler County Commissioner Michael Fox said. "I don't see why the same can't be done with probationees."

"Come to think of it, if you dislike a pet, you can have it put to sleep," continued Fox.  "I don't see why the same can't be done with probationees."

UC's director of licensing Carla Crabtree made the announcement while a 3-foot tall object sat on the table in front of her, draped in a white sheet.

As reporters began asking questions about the highest tuition increase in school history, Crabtree strained her voice to talk over them.

"I think this will answer all your questions," Crabtree shouted, while whisking away the sheet to unveil the new UC Bearcat Logo - a nearly identical design to the former one.

CINCINNATI - Yesterday the blood ran red in the streets of Cincinnati.  The Cincinnati Herald sent letters to all men named Harold in Cincinnati.  Harold Danders showed us a copy of his letter.  “It says all Cincinnati Harolds must Cease & Desist,” said Danders, “I guess I have no choice but to comply.”  He then hopped into a bathtub filled with water and a Conair 1875 Watt Hair Dryer on sale now at Sears for $9.99!

It was a gruesome sight for the Big Brother/Little Brothers group of Cincinnati as they were heading to Hathaways (located on the first floor of the Carew Tower) for a pancake breakfast.  Gary Ferns, big brother to Jimmy King, stopped in awe as a sky full of Harolds rained down on them.  “This is the best pancake breakfast ever,” yelled little Jimmy King, as he stooped down to pull off an ear from the ground and started munching on it.  “My big brother is the coolest ever!”

OVER THE RHINE - A tractor trailer carrying 763 pounds of marijuana was seized by U.S. Drug Enforcement Officials last Wednesday in Over-the-Rhine.

Patrick Thomas and Ladd Dubose were sitting on the dock of a warehouse eating Chick-O-Sticks and dry Captain Crunch while laughing hysterically at a dirty sock in the street. Police officers and DEA agents happened to be in that area and noticed the two men in a hysterical state. They decided to investigate further, thus finding the 18-wheeler full of ganja.